I'm 20, and my boyfriend is 22. I'm very at home and I love to keep in close contact with the people I'm friends with. He's very open and loves to go to the clubs and loves chit-chatting with strangers.
Thus, he usually arrives home late and he's usually drunk. One night he came home drunk, and I was really angry with him. I started yelling at him and then I just gave up and went to our room and slammed the door and slept.
I was tired and angry, and I told him to sleep on the couch. He came to our room and then he raped me.
My boyfriend is slightly bigger than me, and if I was prepared I could probably give a good fight. My boyfriend is a foot taller than me, and he weighs a prob. 20 pounds more.
He used to be fat, but now he's lost weight, I feel like his pride has rose. The next morning, he acts like nothing happened. He acts like we just had normal sex, but I know he knows that I didn't want to do it.
I'm afraid to go to the cops, because I feel like the police will just laugh at me. It's quiet whenever he's around.
Ever since the incident, I've been sleeping over at my friends' house. I feel like committing suicide and I'm scared to tell anyone, because I feel that they'll just say I asked for it, because I'm a man and he's a man and I could have defended myself.
I want to just run away, but I'm so scared and I still haven't gone back to the house to get the rest of my stuff. I'm falling to pieces, PLEASE JUST HELP ME.
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